Overly crude jokes and gross-out humor drag comedy down. We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. Anna: I mean we're basically splitting this country 50/50 with them. Republication or distribution of this content is 11. Maybe its his way of paying her back for mentioning her in his tasteless We Saw Your Boobs song at the Oscars. Constantly terrified, the meek and lily-livered sheep farmer, Albert Stark, mainly struggles to stay out of trouble in dusty and dangerous 1880s Arizona, utterly convinced that everything out there can and will kill him. What should be an ensemble comedy is more of a showcase for MacFarlane, who also co-writes and takes production and music credits. Listen to "A Million Ways to Die" below and let us know what you think. A Million Ways to Die in the West is not for everyone. A Million Ways to Die in the West is not for everyone. As a cowardly farmer begins to fall for the mysterious new woman in town, he must put his newly found courage to the test when her husband, a notorious gun-slinger, announces his arrival. Development for A Million Ways to Die in the West began while MacFarlane and co-writers Sulkin and Wild were watching western movies during the development of Ted. We Should All Just Wear Coffins As Clothes, Tinker Bell and the Legend of the NeverBeast, Psycho (The Complete Original Motion Picture Score), A Million Ways To Die In the West (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack), Bernard Herrmann: The Twilight Zone Conducted By Joel McNeely (Music From Television Series), Star Wars: Shadows of the Empire (Original Soundtrack), X-Men: Days of Future Past - Rogue Cut (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) [Extended Version], The Imitation Game (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack), 007: Casino Royale (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) [Deluxe Version]. PREVIEW. May 29, 2014. He shows impeccable taste in how his movie looks (his DOP Michael Barrett makes Monument Valley a locale to die for) and also how it sounds. Hes outclassed by Charlize Theron, who shows off her comedy chops in a surprisingly big way and generally seems to be enjoying herself. The only time it came out of nowhere was when Charlize said, "Hey, Ewan McGregor is doing a movie up the street!" Like. I look like I have Parkinson's next to him. It's like they lose the power to innovate because they're staring at the stick hoop all day. Amick Byram. Nov 20, 2014. As a very loose rendition of historical fiction, it requires an ability to enjoy the suspension of belief in order to appreciate the humor, as well as an ability to look past the few offensive remarks to that are both poignant stabs at the time period as well as timely interpretations of . . Albert: [Being offered a pot cookie by Anna] The last time somebody gave me one of these, I became convinced that prairie dogs could read my mind. The men who were courageous and resilient were the men who prospered. https://www.quotes.net/movies/a_million_ways_to_die_in_the_west_110222, A Million Ways to Die in the West Screenplay, A Million Ways to Die in the West's quotes, https://www.quotes.net/movies/a_million_ways_to_die_in_the_west_quotes_110222. 27 May 2014 R. 1h 56m. There is a post-credits sequence involving the gunman at the fair from the final scene. 33%. Albert is befriended by Anna, along with her "brother" Lewis who are new to Old Stump, and she who is self-admittedly "smokin' hot". 1:31. Amick Byram. 2014 | Maturity rating: 16+ | 1h 55m | Comedies. Louise is gonna be there, and she's gonna be with Foy. Seth MacFarlane, Amanda Seyfried, Charlize Theron. Albert: You know, there are a million ways to die in the west, Clinch. There was a sheep in the whorehouse the last week. Isn't the fair on Saturday? Albert Stark, a mild mannered sheep farmer living outside of Old Stump, Arizona, hates everything about living in this time and place, especially the literally million ways he and others can easily die every day without a care, from shoot-outs, to bar brawls, to bites by rattlesnakes hiding in outhouses, to affliction by any one of numerous untreatable plagues and pestilences. For example, if you drain a certain amount of venom from the fangs of a diamondback rattler into a hollow-tip bullet, you really only need one shot. Vulgar -- yes, but just not funny. By Stephen Holden. Anna and Albert. Albert, in turn, has to decide when he will become a real man in doing what he needs for what, or who, he truly wants in life. Gunman at Fair in Final Scene: [after shooting someone] people die at the fair. He followed up Ted with 2014's A Million Ways to Die in the West, a spoof of westerns pointing out just how bleak and unromantic life in the Old West would've been. September 9, 2014 I never see him. All On the other hand, Albert also has to find the gunslinging skill in order to battle Louise's new boyfriend - the cocky and wealthy Foy (Neil Patrick Harris) - in a shootout in front of the entire town. The real peculiarity of A Million Ways To Die in The West and what a waste of a great titleis that it's got no good reason to be a Western in the first place, tongue-in-cheek or not. Albert: and all I had to do was distract you while the poison entered your bloodstream. The film was number three at the box office during its opening weekend and grossed over $87 million worldwide against a budget of $40 million. He is also not adept at shooting guns, which makes the death by shoot-outs even more likely, and is the reason why he cowers out of a shoot-out with someone to whom he owes money. Barn Dance Comedian: I tell you, folks, this telegraph machine, that thing is nuts. He knows how to make people laugh, as demonstrated in his Family Guy TV series, his movie smash Ted and in sporadic moments of his gig hosting the Oscars last year. If You've Only Got a Moustache. Old Stump Bluegrass . A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - Sh**ty Showdown, A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - If You've Only Got a Moustache, A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - You Really Do Have a Death Wish. If MacFarlane had spent as much time crafting jokes as he did writing the lyrics for the amusing title tune (sung by country ace Alan Jackson) and the catchy mid-film number The Mustache Song, A Million Ways to Die in the West would have been a much better movie. MacFARLANE: It always depends on the gag, more than the person. "A Million Ways to Die in the West" lacks the inspired lunacy of Mel Brooks' timeless Western, and won't last the ages as a seminal swipe at the genre, but at least MacFarlane gives the . the Terms and Policies, and to receive email from Rotten Tomatoes. However, a pistol-packing woman named Anna (Theron) rides into town and helps Albert find his inner courage. Tap "Sign me up" below to receive our weekly newsletter 1 May 2023. He gets no comfort or love from his girlfriend Louise (Amanda Seyfried), who breaks his heart by dumping him for moustachioed playboy Foy (the reliably funny Neil Patrick Harris). Copyright 2023 All rights reserved. This is the curious thing about MacFarlane. After Albert backs out of a gunfight, his fickle girlfriend leaves him for another man. If You've Only Got a Moustache. I suck at dancing. Seth MacFarlane, Seth MacFarlane's A Million Ways to Die in the West: A Novel. And in director/co-writer/star Seth MacFarlane's A Million Ways to Die in the West (in theaters today), Neil Patrick Harris, playing the douchebag proprietor of an Old West mustache shop, loses a . When the rivalry leads to a duel, he gets help from an unexpected, beautiful source. I went to your farm the other day, and I saw one in the back yard, three way up on the ridge, two in the pond and one on the roof. Albert: I know. Albert: Oh. And then, for a good reason, Albert gets dumped by his charming girlfriend, Louise, only to fall head over heels in love with the intriguingly mysterious, horse-riding and pistol-packing stranger, Anna. Copyright 2023 It's got to be bad for their brains, right? The film was released on May 30, 2014, in the United States, and distributed worldwide by Universal Pictures. I don't wanna put myself through that kind of f***ing aggravation. Depressed and discouraged by how his life is full of disappointment and how every instance of love is then destroyed and robbed from him, Albert finds comfort in Anna (Charlize Theron), a newcomer to his small village. Albert: Oh my god, please! Edward: Albert, he's dead. Set in 1882 in the American west, Albert is a lowly farmer with a nice girlfriend. This was the American frontier in 1882, a hard land for hard folk. Albert: You know, there are a million ways to die in the west, Clinch. . At a recent press conference held in Los . presentation-ready copies of Toronto Star content for distribution The American West, 1880s. Anna: Yeah, well, I'll go with you. Updated at 22nd July 2015 by rearranging the order of some entries: What is the Japanese language plot outline for A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)? All you need is a little bit of the venom introduced into your bloodstream and you're pretty much screwed. with updates on movies, TV shows, Rotten Tomatoes podcast and more. Although she states otherwise, the shoot-out is arguably the last straw for Louise, Albert's vain girlfriend, who breaks up with him. When a mysterious and beautiful woman rides into town, she helps him find his courage and they begin to fall in love. Copyright 2023 Given his knack for singing the guy truly is multi-talented MacFarlane might have done better with following the musical comedy example of Paint Your Wagon rather than the slapstick of Mel Brooks for his western swing. A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - That's a Dollar Bill! As Albert and Anna start to fall for each other in the process, Anna has to decide if and when she will tell him the truth: that she is already married, albeit unhappily, to Clinch Leatherwood, a vicious outlaw who, along with his gang, she and Lewis are waiting for in Old Stump. Seth MacFarlane's western spoof A Million Ways to Die in the West includes nods to such genre classics as The Searchers and Unforgiven. Anna: There is something about connecting over mutual hatred that is just so much deeper than mutual love. Web. Set in 1882 in the American west, Albert is a lowly farmer with a nice girlfriend. Newspapers Limited, 8 Spadina Avenue, 10th Floor, Toronto, ON M5V 0S8. Albert: She moved to town a couple of years ago to take over the schoolmarm job. See production, box office & company info. Albert: [Before drinking from the bowl with the indian tribe] "Mila Kunis" - subtitled as "Fine". To order Edward: Okay, i'm gonna close the bible now. Then the mysterious Anna rides into town and captures Albert's interest and heart, but with her deadly husband in town, Albert is going to have to become the western gun-slinging hero he never was. He's been dead for a few minutes. "A Million Ways to Die in the West Quotes." When a mysterious and beautiful woman rides into town, she helps him find his courage and they begin to fall in love. When she shoots, short cuts to the gallery show 10 targets, but 12 shots are heard and Anna wins the prize for perfect score. She is now with a dapper, successful, extroverted store owner, Foy, a fact Foy keeps reminding him of. And just a small amount of venom in an open wound is enough to kill a man if he's Albert: Did he hear all that smart stuff I did? It found more than 1,100 deaths a year from climate change-caused heat in . Making a splash: A deep dive into the live-action. Hell, this was Miss America in 1880 [picture of a leathery middle-aged woman] . Stay up-to-date on all the latest Rotten Tomatoes news! But I got great tits. Albert: [At target practice] I fired a gun at the shooting gallery. Albert: My worst fear is to OD on a recreational drug. Edward: Hey, dude, you really shouldn't drink and horse. 1882. Stream songs including "A Million Ways To Die", "Main Title" and more. If you can get a song in there, its just a nice Hollywood tradition.. If you do not yet have a Torstar account, you can create one now (it is free), Copyright owned or licensed by Toronto Star Newspapers Limited. Apple Inc. And, uh, wild animals. All you need is a little bit of the venom introduced into your bloodstream and you're pretty much screwed. She is now with a dapper, successful, extroverted store owner, Foy, a fact Foy keeps reminding him of. A Million Ways to Die in the West. Edward: Please don't shoot us on sex night. Vulgar, crude, self-referential, and irreverent, A Million Ways to Die in the West is a typical Seth MacFarlane comedy. And then, for a good reason, Albert gets dumped by his charming girlfriend, Louise, only to fall head over heels in love with the intriguingly mysterious, horse-riding and pistol-packing stranger, Anna. Our old schoolmarm got her throat slit by a fast moving tumbleweed. Louise: You're not even a good sheep farmer, Albert. Here are your picks for the Best of the Capital Region 2023 These are full loads. Anna: Especially a smoking hot girl. The joke evolved into "riffing on the idea of how dull, depressing, and dangerous it must have been to live in the Wild West." Missing Trailer Scene: The bit with the doctor . This is MacFarlanes first live-action lead role (he voiced the potty-mouthed bear in Ted) and for my money hes simply not great at being the leading man, coming off as more obnoxious than straight-up funny. He got . Anna: Oh God, that was never gonna work out anyway. , and to receive email from Rotten Tomatoes. If You've Only Got a Moustache. Unexpectedly, Anna and Albert have a genuine connection--and as our unassuming hero learns the fundamentals of survival in the inhospitable wild west--an ironic, yet grave challenge against an unforeseen and mighty adversary demands that he puts to the test his newly found abilities. After backing out of a duel and losing his girlfriend, sheep farmer Albert slowly rebuilds his self-respect with the help of a married woman. The 50 greatest TV and movie detectives of all time. Updated at 22nd July 2015 by rearranging the order of some entries: What is the Japanese language plot outline for A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)? By creating an account, you agree to the His comedy might be irreverent, but the key to success in a musical number, MacFarlane says, is treating your material with the utmost seriousness. Foy: My dear, they're practically Chinese! Louise: [flustered] They're not that big. When a sheep herder who hates the West saves a young lady . The American West, 1880s. Seth MacFarlane directs, produces, co-writes and plays the role of the cowardly sheep farmer Albert in A Million Ways to Die in the West. There may indeed be A Million Ways to Die in the West, as the title of Seth MacFarlanes parody western asserts. It won't be easy because there are a million ways to die in the west. Albert cant abide the mindless brutality, appalling hygiene and constant danger of life in Old Stump, the tumbleweed town he reluctantly calls home: Everything out here thats not you wants to kill you.. When a mysterious and beautiful woman rides into town, she helps him find his courage and they begin to fall in love. Albert, in turn, has to decide when he will become a real man in doing what he needs for what, or who, he truly wants in life. Louise was right, I can't keep track of them. Wandered in there, and then when I went to pick it up, somehow it had made 20 dollars. It starts from a clever brain that ceased emotional development at age 12 and winds its way through to the orifice that emits the rudest noises and effluence. In Seth MacFarlane's A Million Ways to Die in the West, Neil Patrick Harris takes center stage for one of the film's best sequences the highly choreographed and riotously funny "Mustache . Unexpectedly, Anna and Albert have a genuine connection--and as our unassuming hero learns the fundamentals of survival in the inhospitable wild west--an ironic, yet grave challenge against an unforeseen and mighty adversary demands that he puts to the test his newly found abilities. At least stay through the weekend. After Seth MacFarlane's directorial debut Ted became one of the highest-grossing comedies ever made, he pretty much had the freedom to do whatever he wanted for his second movie. 10. As a cowardly farmer begins to fall for the mysterious new woman in town, he must put his newly found courage to the test when her husband, a notorious gun-slinger, announces his arrival.As a cowardly farmer begins to fall for the mysterious new woman in town, he must put his newly found courage to the test when her husband, a notorious gun-slinger, announces his arrival.As a cowardly farmer begins to fall for the mysterious new woman in town, he must put his newly found courage to the test when her husband, a notorious gun-slinger, announces his arrival. The movies best lines are typically one-liners that rarely come from the lips of MacFarlane, who frequently oversells a joke when he isnt merely spouting obscenities. As . Inspiration for the Work: The film originated as an inside joke between Seth MacFarlane and co-writers Alec Sulkin and Wesley Wild while they were watching Hang 'Em High. The film follows Albert Stark (MacFarlane) who feels certain that the western frontier is trying to kill him while coping from his break-up with his girlfriend. Doctors! Anna vows to help Albert with many issues in his life, most specifically in getting Louise back largely by pretending to be his girlfriend to make Louise jealous, and learning how to shoot in what ends up being a challenge to a shoot-out with Foy for Louise's hand. Albert is befriended by Anna, along with her "brother" Lewis who are new to Old Stump, and she who is self-admittedly "smokin' hot". Then the mysterious Anna rides into town and captures Albert's interest and heart, but with her deadly husband in town, Albert is going to have to become the western gun-slinging hero he never was.